Aaron DeGraffenreidt

(This is an expanded version of the story in our anniversary book.)

Aaron DeGraffenreidt’s earliest memory of St. Matthew is of his first communion day. It was 1991 and Mass was in the lower church. Not surprisingly, he remembers “a lot of running around with other kids” before and after church, and that his cousin made his first communion that same day. It was much later in life that he came to appreciate the unique character of St. Matthew’s parish. He attended St. Pius X School and Loyola Blakefield, but it was at Bucknell University, talking to other Catholic students about their parishes, when he realized that the multi-cultural experience he knew here was not the norm for Catholic parishes, and his experience that our parish “lives the values we espouse.”

He recalls situations at Bucknell University where individuals used disrespectful or derogatory language or expressed views that just felt wrong. “I was in college and just working out how things fit together. This church helped me realize that even when it’s not easy, we have to walk these ideals that we teach.” He decided to enter the Peace Corps, “…not just because it was the smart thing to do, but the right thing.” He believes that our diverse, international community helped spark that interest. Aaron, having served in Morocco, feels blessed in the post 9-11 world to have had the opportunity to live and work in a Muslim country.

Aaron came back to Baltimore, where he attended University of Maryland Law School and is now a land use attorney with the City of Baltimore, and an active parishioner at St. Matthew. When asked about experiences that seem to express the heart of St. Matthew’s mission and values, Aaron talks about the church’s involvement in BUILD. While many faith groups avoid contentious issues, he sees this longstanding effort, and Fr. Joe’s leadership in it, as “…more substantial… part of an effort to address particularly difficult problems that are specific to Baltimore.” He’s proud of St. Matthew’s role as a founder and sustaining member of BUILD.

Both Aaron and his wife Brenda appreciate how inclusive the parish is, especially how it forged ahead with LEAD and the welcoming of LGBTQ members at a time when this stance is still rare and controversial in other churches. Aaron and his wife Brenda are bringing their children up here, and he links his involvement with the Children’s Liturgy of the Word to the broad range of adult role models he had growing up here. Aaron hopes St. Matthew always takes seriously the hymn, We Are Many Parts, We Are All One Body.

“Every person has a role to play here and a place in our church. It is up to us as parishioners to maintain that welcoming attitude.”

Jahid Carr

“My mom started attending St. Matthew before I was born. I was baptized there. We would visit other churches when I was a toddler and we didn’t live in the neighborhood. We started coming regularly when I was 4 years old and we moved back. We found out I was on the autism spectrum around that same time. I am 19 now and going to Morgan State University. I still plan to come to church whenever I can.

“I joined scouts when I was 8 years old. Mr. Tracy Smith was my first scout leader. Then my mom started helping with the Cub Scout Pack 648. When I was old enough to join Boy Scouts, the closest Troop was 161 at the Church of the Messiah with Mr. Percy Myers. I liked camping and teaching the younger kids what to do.

“For my Eagle Scout project, I was thinking of ideas of things that would be simple for me to do. I decided to set up a canned food drive and met with Ms. Roberta at Blessed Sacrament to see if I could work with them. It was a nice, helpful experience. People from St. Matthew and Blessed Sacrament helped me collect money and food. My parents and other scouts helped me assemble the food bags.

“Hugging during the sign of the peace makes me feel like a part of the church community. I like that Fr. Joe knows who I am. He is like a symbol of God to me in how he treats people.”

Jahid Carr

Perry Family

Dallas and Kim Perry were married in 2011 at St. Matthew. They now have two children— Dallas, 5, and Chelsea, 1.

“Kim and I discovered St. Matthew through my grandmother, Laurentia Strawder, a longtime parishioner at St. Francis Xavier,” Dallas explains. He said that she had been to the church before and thought that it was a great fit for them. It was!

As soon as they attended mass at the church and felt the energy from the parish members, Fr. Joe and Deacon Rubio, “we knew this would be somewhere we could call home.” Through the years, they were confirmed, married, and had their children baptized at St. Matthew. Kim was a Gospel choir member, she loves to sing, and Dallas served on the Pastoral Council for three years and also supported some of the BUILD initiatives.

They both agree that St. Matthew is a strong community and should serve as a template for the modern Catholic Church. The active ministries serve a diverse community, many that are constantly under attack, and “our church makes these communities a priority.” “Life has gotten hectic and we wish we could do more around the church. We look forward to doing more as our children get older,” Kim shared.

The Surcel-Debes Family

“We found St. Matthew because we asked our neighbor if he knew of a “non-Catholic catholic church.” Without a moment’s hesitation, he made a call and we heard him say “Joe! I’m sending some folks your way.” It was that simple – we were just that lucky.

“Our goal was to find a spiritual home to raise our kids, Norah and Katrina – a place where they were valued. At St. Matthew, our kids feel safe, listened to, and empowered. They feel like they can make a difference because St. Matthew gives them a platform to raise their voices. When Katrina petitioned her school in third grade to start an all-girls soccer team, she shared her story at Mass and connected with kids and adults who encouraged her to stand for what she believed in – the soccer team was formed the next fall. When Norah encouraged her school to ban plastic straws to save the oceans in the second grade, it was Fr. Joe who asked her to speak to the congregation about her efforts. These may seem like little things, but actually they are the water and sunshine helping our kids grow. Because of the connections built here, they are learning that their lives are worth living to the fullest and that their church family will back them in their efforts to leave the world better than they found it.

“This church has brought the Bible and the daily news together and teaches our kids that God exists, not in the hierarchy, but in the relationships between us. Turns out, in looking for a “non-Catholic catholic church,” we found one of the most Catholic ones – St. Matt’s is truly a place where all are welcome.”

Alexandra Surcel and John Debes

Comboni Missionary Sisters

The Comboni Missionary Sisters first came to St. Matthew in 2001. Since then we have had 30 sisters in residence. Currently Sisters Andre Rothschild, Bernadette Hilmer, Ilaria Buonriposi, and Mercedes Castillo Razo reside here, each having a different role in the Baltimore community working together as an important component of the St. Matthew community.

When Sr. Andre, the community coordinator, came here in 2006, she was “attracted to St. Matthew because it was a diverse parish, with multiple ethnicities and many subgroups all working together within one Catholic community.”

The Comboni Sisters have frequently responded to the needs expressed by the St. Mathew community. For example, they participated in special events supported by Catholic Relief Services, to welcome youth from various countries who came to the United States in 2010. The youth group was specifically selected to represent multiple countries in Africa with highest prevalence of HIV, to share their experiences as orphans and vulnerable child (OVC). These are young people, either living with or affected by HIV, were supported by programs funded through Catholic Relief Services. They welcomed these young people to St. Matthew Church, and they accepted them as special guests and friends.

Over the past 10 years, the sisters consistently supported local campaigns for violence prevention and for improved support of recent immigrants. They serve as tangible examples to the St. Matthew community of ways that we can improve conditions for the most vulnerable among us, including young people from low- and middle-income countries, people living with life-threatening illnesses like HIV, and people whose well-being is threatened by social circumstances beyond their control.

All of the sisters reflect the principles of St. Daniel Comboni, their patron saint and founder. The sisters get involved in St. Matthew and in the broader Baltimore community, from the moment they arrive. They support many of the special groups within St. Matthew, including the Liturgy Committee, RCIA, Prison Ministry, and they frequently visit parishioners when they are sick or unable to participate in Mass. They follow St. Daniel Comboni’s example by accepting the mission of promoting unity in the face of ethnic and social diversity within the St. Matthew community. The sisters accept the mission of working with the poor, but they also find ways to get the best from all members of the St. Matthew community.

“The community I’ve met in St. Matthew has a relevant place: multicultural striving to be intercultural, welcoming all paths of life and faith without judgment; concerned and caring for those who suffer near and far; and proactive in advocating for those whose dignity is somehow violated and living the talk,” shares Sr. Ilaria.

Benedictine Sisters

“The Sisters of the Order of St. Benedict came to Baltimore in 1971 and lived at Spalding Convent in Glen Burnie. Fr. Joe was a deacon there and an instant connection was made, especially our relationship in ministry and response to the call of Vatican II to reform and ‘open the windows’ of our church…and our world.

“Since our move to Lutherville in 1986, many of us worship at St. Matthew – an inclusive, wonderful vibrant church, with a pastor who challenges the congregation to really allow Scripture to transform us.

“The community of St. Matthew has been a welcoming place to the Benedictines where we have celebrated jubilees, funerals and other occasions. Some of our families, after having the experience of the St. Matthew community wish that they belonged to such an inclusive and international community and we agree!”

 Sr. Patricia Kirk, Prioress

Rev. Michael Schleupner

(This is an expanded version of the story in our anniversary book.)

“My family joined St. Matthew in 1949 when we bought a home in Northwood. Both my brother and I graduated from the parish school which was staffed by many fine teachers both SSND and lay. The school had a large enrollment so there were some years that we went to classes in two different shifts.

“My parents were the biggest influence in my becoming a priest not only in their teaching but more importantly by the example of their daily living. Although they did not always agree with all of the church teachings, they did teach us respect for the men and women who taught us in the faith. One of the priests who influenced me in my vocation was an associate by the name of Fr. Ray Gribban. Although he gave homilies that I could relate to and understand even as a kid, it was his example and joy in serving God’s people that most influenced me.

“My return to the parish of my youth was first of all to give Fr. Joe some support. Second, I was curious about the many good things I was hearing about St. Matthew people. I heard about the diversity, openness, new and different ways of thinking about what it mean to be a faith family where people really care about one another. The liturgies are prayerful, alive, and invigorating. Also there is much lay involvement and social justice awareness apparent. Every time I celebrate with you I come away feeling nourished and am given much more than I’ve given.”

The Labyrinth

(This is an expanded version of the story of the labyrinth in our anniversary book.)

We have a beautiful labyrinth today thanks to Jackie Serfling and the DeLisle family. Jackie wanted to offer the St. Matthew community a place where people might come to seek comfort and prayer in a quiet open space. She remembers, “…those Lenten quiet days when Rosie (Douglas) and Grace (Byerly) would set up a canvas labyrinth downstairs, and it was so powerful seeing 20 or 30 people walking in quiet meditation.” She believed that an outdoor labyrinth would offer such an opportunity. She talked to right person about her idea, Bob DeLisle, then finance chair.

Jackie wanted to be sure this would reflect the collective contributions of the members of the St. Matthew community. Bob shared the idea with his family, in the hope they might support this effort. Ben Delisle, Bob’s son, proposed to take it on as an Eagle Scout project.

This was not the first time St. Matthew had been the site for an Eagle scout projects. Linda Murphy’s son renovated the Mary Garden which continues to stand out as a place for prayer and reflection. The was an inspiration  to Ben – young people providing significant contributions to St. Matthew by restoring treasured spaces.

“Ben worked with Fr. Joe and me to identify an area behind the convent that would be ideal,” Jackie says. The Labyrinth Company offered a template that Ben could use as a guide. Jackie made a generous personal contribution and to raise additional funds, Ben offered parishioners the opportunity to have a brick engraved with the names of loved ones or to honor their family. A few companies donated materials to lay the foundation for the labyrinth. Jackie made a generous personal contribution.

By the Fall of 2004, Ben had the funding and materials he needed to begin creating the labyrinth. He organized a small group from his scout troop to help cut bricks in the appropriate sizes, lay the bricks, and establish the labyrinth’s foundation. Most of the work was done over a 4-day period, with the bricklaying completed before December.

Cardinal Keeler, also an Eagle Scout, blessed the labyrinth at the same time he blessed the church addition (renovations) in the fall of 2005.

Jackie added flowers and other plants to enhance the visual beauty of the labyrinth and  benches so those who visited could sit and reflect on their experience. St. Matthew community members continue to volunteer to maintain the landscape – proof that our community lovingly owns this sacred space.

On behalf of the parish, Barbara Metz continues to promote the labyrinth by coordinating donations to add a personalized brick. Two years ago, Barbara and Jackie added a Peace Pole.

Jackie has attended many brick blessings, but the most powerful was in early August 2019 when the entire Kenyan community gathered to lay a brick in honor of Kimuya who died her in 2018, and whose family had traveled from Kenya to attend. “The Wasafiri Voices sang, and the entire labyrinth was surrounded with people and song!” Such a confirmation that this sacred space offers a rich tradition to bless our entire community.

Financial Peace University

“Jermaine and I wanted to bring Financial Peace University, FPU, to our church community to pay it forward. As we go through the steps to financial peace, we want others to experience the same freedom we have. Also, we want people to be able to give more through tithing to our church. The only way they can give more is to manage their household finances God’s way. This program teaches God’s way of handling money.”

Keyah and Jermaine Spann, FPU Leaders 

(Every Valentine’s Day, the Spann family gives all women in the church a flower.)